Tuesday, November 02, 2010

Something for the bride

This is probably the hardest entry I have been thinking of doing.  I'm still not sure how it will come out on the page.
When I met my husband and got engaged, it had been one year since my sister had died ~ 2 weeks before her own wedding.  Our family was a typical, loving but grieving, family during this time.  There were things unsaid, things thought, things expected and not expected, and in the end I wore what was to be my sister's wedding dress to my own wedding.  I thought it wouldn't really matter to my heart, it was just a dress, this was a practical way to keep costs down.  The dress was beautiful, but beautiful for my sister in my eyes.  Not beautiful as my own.  We had a very wonderful, blessed wedding and the Holy Spirit was present and that was all that mattered.

Speed up 15 years and I am still holding onto baggage, some hurt and regrets of never having been shopping for a wedding dress and never getting some of the "fun" photos and black and white photos I had always wanted.  God did give me a wonderful dream one night of me trying on some beautiful dresses while salesperson's were helping me find the perfect one.  This dream was strangely healing and made me feel like I was worthy, special, loved enough.

Due to other circumstances, one of my cousins was also wanting some different photos of her own wedding dress.  What better way to do this up than to do it times two!  So we enlisted the help of her husband (professional photographer) and we set off to make a day of it!  We would take photos like we wanted in our wedding dresses.  Dresses were pinned (we're both a little smaller now) and taken out of their plastic.  Runners and rubber boots were donned and off we went.

I thought of my sister and how much fun she would have had laughing at me and taking these photos.  I was happy in the dress and excited to have these photos to give to my daughters and family.

There, I made it through without too much trouble or emotion.  Here are some photos that my hubby took, not the photographer.  I felt so free and that I could let her go and the dress go.  The dress will now turn into 3 little ones for each of my girls when they have little ones.  Something from their Auntie Tina and their Mommy.

We started in the yard and worked our way to Crater Lake...brrrr

Every little girl likes to twirl

Yes, it was mail day!

Welcome to Canyon Ranch ~ we are fancy pants here!

One of my girls favourites

 Another favourite, looking out over Crater Lake

Sorry Randi, this picture was so cute of you!  It was very cold and you were very brave!

 With my special felt hat from Ronalyn (ronalynart@live.com) and my gloves from Sammy!

My man, for 15 years, less shaggy hair, more facial hair and some laugh lines thrown in....super hot!


Erin said...

I hadn't realized that you wore Tina's dress for your own wedding...this must have been a very emotional post for you to share...thank you for it, though. The pictures are fabulous too, and I'm sure your girls will treasure their own little dresses!!!

Iris said...

Wow! What a beautiful post. Thanks for sharing it with us. I am sure it wasn't the easiest to write and put into words the true feelings behind it all. You are one brave woman.

You look beautiful in the dress and I love the idea of making it into little dresses for your daughters.

Iris said...

What a beautiful and heartbreaking and lovely all at the same time post. I am sure it wasn't easy to write and you are brave to put all those thoughts out there after 15 years.

You are so beautiful in the photos.

Kimberly said...

Having had a very emotional day myself (I poured my own heart into words today - what a blessing words are in that way), this really hit home for me. It must have been difficult, and I hope it was healing.

The photos are beautiful. I think what I love most though are your boots. So whimsical...it made me smile.

Jo said...

Any pattern ideas for the little dresses? I'm thinking small dresses, but need some ideas?!

Roger & Rosaleen Milner said...

Hi Jo,

Great pictures! I love your idea about turning the dress into three gifts for your girls. For inspiration on beautiful children’s dresses look through the online store Eden’s Bouquet www.edensbouquet.com
I buy all my patterns at www.sewingpatterns.com. They have some great infant gowns.

Have a great day in the Caribou.

Love Rosaleen

Roger & Rosaleen Milner said...

Hi Jo,

Great pictures. What a lovely idea to sew your dress into gifts for your girls. Truly a treasure. If you want some inspiration for children’s gowns look through the online shop Eden’s Bouquet www.edensbouquet.com
I buy all my patterns at www.sewingpatterns.com.

Have a great day in the Caribou.


Randi said...

Great photos! I'm glad you posted the one of me hunkered down in the river....it was a lot of fun and I think my feet have finally thawed out!!!

Randi said...

I don't think my first comment worked. Hoping that you get this one. I had a lot of fun taking these photos with you and I hope we get to visit face to face again soon!